Remembering how to do this

 Gosh, hello there. 

I am sorry in advance for whatever this is you are reading. 

I recently stumbled an old blog from my early to mid twenties...  It's been a while since blogging was something I did.

Why did I stop? Well... You know how 2020 has been beyond our pessimistic fancies... That has been the case the last 5 years of my life.  It has sucketh for sure.

Break ups, depression, getting kicked out of countries, sad goodbyes, betrayal, jerk faces, rejection, anxiety, job loss, nightmares, death of loved ones, panic attacks... 

I guess with all that, I had nothing hopeful to share. I went from rainbows and butterflies... To a deep dark cave that has now been diagnosed as PTSD.

Life is crazy. People says your thirties are better than your twenties.... I am still undecided.  Maybe the people who say that aren't dealing with an abusive childhood of pain.

This doesn't sound very hopeful. So... Why I am starting a blog again? Maybe because even if I don't feel hopeful... I need hope in my life. 

This blog is a reminder for myself. Life stinks sometimes but it doesn't mean you do. 

You can do this. This road you have embarked on, you will conquer it. It will NOT conquer you. Healing will come and this PTSD... This sad, angry, disparity of pain you feel, is not the end of your story... Just a chapter. 

Take courage!